Ask for help – don’t bottle it up. Connect with a loved one. This advice is from Ricky, who currently lives in one of St Martins’ services. Ricky has been sober for nearly two years but has seen too many friends who he met on the street die from their addictions.
Ricky was bullied at school. He said, “I was urinated on, spat at, other physical abuse and mental abuse. The impact of this was I suffered in silence because I did not want anyone else to get involved – it made me lose confidence in everything.”
“The main problem of that was the bottling up of emotions crept up on me and the trapped emotions became stagnant like poison – this had a huge negative impact on my mental health.”
When Ricky left school he completed a YTS bricklaying course he enjoyed, but at the end of the week he would binge on alcohol. He said, “I had other jobs working on building sites but I was binge drinking more at weekends and lost a lot of work. I felt a deep sense of despair and depression.
“My mind became a crowd of negative emotions which affected my focus on work and everyday life. Everything became a chore – my mental health got worse – I felt helpless.”
Ricky bounced between periods of poor mental health and better times, including when he joined the Territorial Army in the Royal Anglian Regiment, which gave him a focus and a way to channel his emotions.
Ricky first became homeless through a relationship breakdown. He wasn’t drinking at the time, as he says, “Anyone can become homeless”.
While sleeping rough Ricky got to know several people who had similar experiences to him as an ex serviceman with mental health issues and addiction. He said, “We looked after each other when things got tough and cold weather set in – it felt like having another family at first. However, on a bad day it could turn nasty and fights break out through drink and drugs, but they would be forgotten about the next day. He said, “I met some amazing characters and lifelong friends who went through this time with me.”
Substances had controlled Ricky’s life for over 40 years and he wants to try and stop that happening to anyone else, which is why he has recorded his story to be shared in local schools. He urges young people to treat setbacks as a spring board and come back stronger to build resilience.
He is full of advice gleaned from his own experience:
- Never judge because everyone has a gift.
- Practice gratitude.
- Don’t be afraid to say NO.
- Cultivate self resilience.
- Find the joy that lives within you.
- Learn something new.
- Never give up trying.
- I want to end by saying love and look after yourself.
- Ask for help – don’t bottle it up. Connect with a loved one